It’s a moment almost every parent experiences.
You’re in the grocery store, a restaurant, or the checkout line at Target when your child suddenly starts screaming. Loud. Persistent. Everyone turns to look.
Your first instinct is simple: make it stop.
So you hand over the toy. Or the snack. Or the phone.
The screaming stops instantly.
Relief.
But here’s the problem: in that moment, your child may have just learned that screaming works.
At KD Care Community, we serve families across Metro Detroit, we help parents understand why behaviors happen—and how to teach children better ways to communicate their needs.
Let’s talk about what’s really going on when a child screams in public and what you can do instead.
Why Children Scream in Public
Children rarely scream “just because.”
In most cases, the behavior serves a purpose. In Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), we call this the function of behavior.
A child might scream because they want:
• A toy
• A snack
• Attention
• To escape a situation
• Help communicating a need
For many children—especially those with autism—screaming can become a learned communication strategy.
If screaming results in getting what they want, the behavior becomes stronger over time. Not because the child is being difficult. Because it works.
The Common Mistake Parents Make
Most parents react the same way in a stressful public moment. They give the child the item during the tantrum. It’s completely understandable. The noise is overwhelming, the pressure from people around you feels intense, and you just want the situation to end. But when the reward happens during the screaming, the child learns:
“If I scream, I get what I want.”
The behavior is reinforced.
And it will likely happen again.
What ABA Therapy Teaches Instead
The goal is not simply to stop screaming. The goal is to teach a better way to communicate. This is called a replacement behavior. A replacement behavior gives the child a way to get the same need met—without screaming.
Teaching Verbal Children What To Do Instead
If your child is verbal, preparation is key.
Before leaving the house, practice what they should do if they want something.
You can model phrases like:
• “I want a toy.”
• “Can I have that?”
• “Please.”
Keep it simple and clear.
When your child asks appropriately, that’s when the request can be granted.
Over time, the child learns that using words works better than screaming.
Teaching Non-Verbal Children to Communicate
For children who are not yet verbal, we teach other communication tools.
This might include:
• Pointing
• Gestures
• Picture cards
• Communication boards
• AAC devices
For example, if a child wants a toy, they may be taught to hand a picture of the toy to a parent. Once the child communicates in this way—and is calm—they receive the item. Now the child has learned a powerful new skill.
Communication.
Why Timing Matters
One of the most important parts of behavior change is when the reward happens. If the toy is given during the screaming, the behavior is strengthened. But if the toy is given after the child calms down and communicates appropriately, the child learns something new:
“When I communicate, I get what I want.”
That’s the skill we want to build.
Real Progress Comes From Teaching Skills
ABA therapy focuses on skill development. Instead of simply trying to eliminate behaviors, we ask:
What skill is missing?
Often the missing skill is communication.
When children learn how to request, wait, or express frustration in a more effective way, problem behaviors naturally decrease.
You’re Not Alone as a Parent
If you’ve experienced a public meltdown with your child, you are not failing. Parenting is hard. Parenting a child with autism or communication challenges can be even harder—especially when the world around you doesn’t always understand.
The good news is that with the right strategies and support, these situations can improve dramatically.
How ABA Therapy Helps Families in Metro Detroit
At KD Care Community, we work with families across Dearborn, Dearborn Heights, and the Metro Detroit area to help children build real-life skills.
Our ABA therapy programs focus on:
• Communication development
• Reducing challenging behaviors
• Social skills
• Independence
• Parent coaching
We believe the most effective therapy includes parents as partners, because the strategies children learn in therapy should work at home, in the community, and everywhere in between.
When a child screams in public, it can feel overwhelming. But those moments are also opportunities to teach. With preparation, patience, and the right strategies, children can learn new ways to express their needs. And when communication improves, everything else becomes easier.
If you’re looking for ABA therapy support in Metro Detroit, our team at KD Care Community is here to help.
